Do Women Find Negotiating More Stressful Than Men Do?
Often yes! Why?
Because of our capacity for empathy; we are generally better at it than men. We are more sensitive to subtle signals and we constantly read others’ energies, feelings and reactions while doing whatever it is we are doing.
That’s the case even when we are heavily involved in technical or analytical work. For example I remember years ago being involved in financial analysis teams. Even when we were fully concentrating on our data analysis, evaluations and logical deductions, the women on the team knew “the lay of the land” mood-wise in the department.
Please don’t misunderstand me; I’m not saying that women are weaker negotiators. We may know how you feel, but we’re also very dedicated to getting the job done: great prices, great contract terms.
In the process of negotiating a lower price on the purchasing contract, a woman wouldn’t have just managed the flow of the interaction and handled objections while keeping both her objective and bottom line in mind, she would have also identified and processed the various parties’ emotions. Which means she would have had to also manage her reactions (even if only internal). Feeling the conflicts more acutely, she is bound to feel more stress.
What kind of person finds negotiating enjoyable and easy? He or she is able to focus on the goals and process while detaching from the feelings (or believes that the other side’s wellbeing is none of his or her concern).
I don’t know about you, but most women don’t fit that description.
Once again, that does not mean that women are poor negotiators. As I said earlier, we tend to be very responsible so we won’t let our side down. Also, history has proven countless times that not taking the “losing” party to the cleaners is most often the best strategy in the long run. And that’s a point that women in general, understand quite well.
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